Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
