Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
