we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
