Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
