There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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