I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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