Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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