I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
