hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize