We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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