he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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