That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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