we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
