i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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