yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
