So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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