I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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