wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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