You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
