this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
