why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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