I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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