i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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