I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
