"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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