I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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