Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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