Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
