I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
