You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
