Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
