It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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