I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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