And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
