You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize