He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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