Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
