well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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