literally had 100 drinks last night.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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