6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize