But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
