The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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