laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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