I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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