his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
