i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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