he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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