i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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