so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
