Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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