I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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