giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
