So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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