I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
