Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
