Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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