This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
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Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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