love makes seman taste better
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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