If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize