So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the condom got lost in my hair
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
