i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
