It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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